Seasons

As the leaves gently start to fall, as the air becomes crisper, and as the sun is setting earlier, I am reminded of a new season; fall.

I really love fall. It is laid back and full of color. I enjoy the change from summer to fall, watching the birds slowly leave and the sunset fill the sky with a different set of hues than in the humid summer heat.

I also really enjoy fall because it gives me a time to reflect on the seasons in my life. I think it is important to stop and realize what is going on outside of our busy, task-oriented lives and see the great changes that are taking place in nature.

As I think about this season in my life, I am overwhelmed with emotion. This season has been rough and different, especially in contrast to the season I spent in Spain. This has been a season of joy and happiness for many reasons, but also a season of feeling unsettled and lonely. I struggle at times when it comes to accepting this season. A big part of me wants to rush it along and look back on it, but a deeper, more complete part of me says, go through it. Although I am in a valley right now, it is important to see the light at the end of the tunnel and persevere to a different season in life. I need to allow myself to acknowledge these tough emotions, feel them, work through them, and finally to learn and grow from them.

I believe God puts these seasons in our lives so we may be still. I believe He wants us to work through emotions and not avoid them. I believe He has a purpose for this season in my life and I will continue to put my trust in Him alone.

This new season of fall brings about sadness and grief in my heart as well. This next week was one of the most challenging weeks of my life, 2 years ago. My father was in the hospital for the week and passed away on Wednesday, September 16, 2009. I remember vivid emotions and senses of that week. I remember it so well now, although at the time it was a large blur. This week is eerie for me as I recall the events.

As I continue to reflect and look back 2 years ago, the person I was and the place I was in, I am proud of the growth I have made. I am proud of the journey and path I have chosen. I chose to accept my fathers death as oppose to becoming bitter about it. I have learned so many other lessons about myself and the beautiful array of people in this world that I am going to take with me for the rest of my life.

So, I go forth into this new season with hopes that it will be different than this season I've been it. I pray for renewal in my heart and for new lessons and opportunities to grow. I hope this fall brings about peace in your life, whatever kind of season you're in and that you acknowledge the beautiful changes that are taking place all around you.

"And this is my prayer: I pray that your love will grow more and more. I pray that you will have better understanding and be wise in all things. I pray that you will know what is the very best. I pray that you will be true and without blame until the day Christ comes again. And I pray that you will be filled with the fruits of right living. These come from Jesus Christ, with honor and thanks to God." -Philippians 1:9-11