The New Year's Post

Like the rest of the world, these past couple days I've been reflecting on the past year. I've been having trouble being excited about 2012. It's going to be very different not starting out my year in another country with endless opportunities to travel, but there are two very important weddings that I am honored to be a part of that will indeed make my year. 2011 was a year of immense growth in many ways... right down to the very last days.

Throughout this reflection I've noticed that 2011 was equal parts beautiful and ugly. I've noticed that a lot of the year was about me. My wants, my dreams, me, me, me. This past year I made a lot of selfish decisions that tarnished some good things in my life. I didn't spend as much time with the Lord as I should or could have. I acted in certain ways because I felt like it at the time and I really put myself before a lot of people and things in my life. 

Please don't get me wrong, 2011 was certainly a year to remember because of it's immense beauty. I lived in a magical city where my taste buds and soul came alive. I traveled to some of the most richly historic and wonderful cities on Earth and I felt adventure in almost every inch my body. I felt very much alive. I threw my first bridal shower and bachelorette party for my beloved friend. I stood next to her and witnessed her marry her best friend. I saw my little brother off to college, I jumped out of a perfectly good plane, and I got to share in the happiness and thrill of my other two best friend's engagements. It was a beautiful year, indeed. 

The equal parts beautiful and ugly from this past year have helped me grow. I recognize my tendency to make everything about me and am now changing that. I don't want to live for me. I want to live for my Savior who loves me enough to die for me. I want to be more diligent about my relationship with my Lord, the one who saves me daily. I want to find happiness in someone else's happiness without thinking of myself and what I don't have. I want to forget myself, loose myself. 

I am starting this year working on my relationship with my boyfriend. To give him the unconditional love he deserves. I am starting this new year giving Christ my life again. I am starting this new year realizing my faults and weaknesses and working to change them. I feel very fresh and renewed by the promise of more life and more growth that will take place over the next year.